


His shadow in heavy rain

by ReleasingTheKrakenIsMyFetish



Series: Ree [40]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Betrayal, Blood, Blood and Injury, Confessions, Danger, Denial of Feelings, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Feelings, Fights, Friendship/Love, Kissing in the Rain, Long Shot, Love, Love Confessions, Multi, Plot Twists, Rain, Romance, Shooting Guns, Talking, Threats of Violence, To Be Continued, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 21:12:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14221902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReleasingTheKrakenIsMyFetish/pseuds/ReleasingTheKrakenIsMyFetish
Summary: Ree needs some time to herself, and away from Nick, so she heads back to Curie's clinic. But she has no idea what's waiting for her there, and who has been watching her since she returned to Diamond City... 2nd Long shot of Ree, Hancock & Valentine.





	His shadow in heavy rain

Few cool raindrops fell on my skin as I walked to the clinic, and with a frown I looked up at the gathering clouds. Too bad for the festival – looked like it wouldn't be too long until the sky would come down pouring.

How could I ever face Nick again? I didn't know exactly how he felt, but judging by what I had seen just now... I was sure I wasn't far off. The certain feeling had been there for a long time, even before I got kidnapped, and now it had just grown stronger. It fought against everything I knew. What would John do if he knew? What would he say?

I squeezed my hands into fists, and felt fingernails digging inside my palms. Stifling a sobbing sound building up in my chest I stood frozen by the clinic door. Why the fuck did this have to happen? Everything would be fine if I wasn't... No, I didn't dare to spell it out, even in my thoughts. But I couldn't decide if I was more frustrated or angry with myself.

Shaking my head I opened the door and saw Curie sitting behind her desk, and apparently so immersed in the file in her hands that she didn't even reply when I greeted her. Shrugging, I walked across the lobby and found Dr. Penn sitting beside my bed. He looked up from the comic book he was holding and stood up.

”Huh, I didn't think you would show up just yet. Had fun at the festival?”

”It was nice”, I avoided giving a straight answer. ”Is it time for my meds?”

”Just get comfortable, and I'll go get them”, he patted my shoulder and left. 

I kicked the sneakers off, took off the bomber jacket and laid down on the bed, already rolling up my right hand sleeve. With a deep sigh I stared at the ceiling trying not to think about how the evening had gone, until Dr. Penn came back holding a tray. He set it on the end table and started preparing the IV needle.

”Smells like it started raining”, I said without any deeper meaning to it. Staying absolutely silent didn't feel comfortable to me.

”You have a good nose. For a vaultie you've adapted here quite well.”

”Mm”, I replied, but for some reason what he had just said made something stir inside me. 

”How did you know I'm a vaultie?”

Dr. Penn looked at me for a split second, before flashing a dazzling smile.

”Curie told me.”

I blinked few times and my gaze trailed to Dr. Penn's hands as he placed the IV stand. An alarm started ringing in my brain, first quietly, then gradually louder. I was sure I had never told Curie about my past, and I couldn't see Hancock or Nick telling her without a good reason.

”Oh, she did?” I said slowly. ”Actually, could you wait a moment? I'd like to make sure she saw me coming in. She was really concentrated on something and--”

”Okay, fine”, Dr. Penn sighed and pushed me back to bed. ”It wasn't her. You told me that yourself.”

"I don't..." My voice died out as I was rewinding my memories. I had known Dr. Penn for only few days or so. Had I said something like that to him, without even realizing it?

”I can assure that you did. Of course, I looked different back then. You were traveling with that filthy ghoul and the synth detective. You were hard to collect, but I managed to do it once you were alone”, Dr. Penn chatted casually and was about to attach the needle on my arm, but I yanked myself off from his grip.

At first I didn't understand a word he was saying. Was Dr. Penn someone we had met on our way to Sunshine Tidings, when we were tracking the lost girl and her synth boyfriend? No... I didn't remember anyone like this man standing before me.

He pushed me back on the mattress again before I could get up, and held me down by pressing my stomach with his knee. His hand was on my throat, and I felt panic rising when I suddenly couldn't breathe. He grabbed a syringe from the tray with his free hand, and using force pushed the needle in my right shoulder.

A burst of adrenaline gave me enough strength to push him off balance, and kick him on his chest. The air escaped his lungs, as he dropped on the floor and grunted curse words. I tore the syringe out and threw it to the other end of the room. I had no idea what it had been, but to my relief he hadn't had time to push the piston down.

I scrambled to the door, opening it by practically smashing myself against it and ran to Curie. She was still sitting by her desk and looking at the paper.

”Curie”, I panted and grabbed her on her shoulder. ”You gotta get help, Dr. Penn is... Curie?”

Curie just sat there, completely immobile. Her eyes were fixed on the file and it seemed like she didn't even know I was there. I shouted her name, but she didn't even flinch.

”I gotta say, you're really starting to get on my nerves”, Dr. Penn's voice came behind me, and I twirled around. 

He was pointing me with a pistol. I expected for him to shoot me, but instead he just held me at gunpoint and went around me and locked the front door.

”What have you done to Curie?”

”I just gave her a certain command. Didn't you know she's a synth?” Dr. Penn smiled and gestured me to walk back to the main room. ”She's going to stay that way, until I give her the permission to wake up. She can't hear or see you.”

I backed down through the door, unable to look away from the gun pointed at me.

”Who are you? Why are you doing this?” I asked and made an effort to keep my voice leveled.

Dr. Penn followed me and closed the door behind him. He grinned at me, clearly enjoying himself.

”I don't blame you if you don't recognize me. I'll admit it; I'm not exactly fond of this body, either. I liked the previous one better, younger and far more good-looking. Take a guess?”

He had me standing against the wall, and while my brain was pushing itself to remember him, he opened a cabinet and took a small object in his hand. It was so small I didn't get a clear view of what it was.

”Wait”, my hands suddenly went cold. ”You're... Thomas?”

”Wow, you figured it out faster than I thought. Yeah, it's me”, he chuckled mockingly.

Dr. Penn looked nothing like the young synth man we had picked up and helped to reach the Mercer safehouse over a month ago. Back then he had kidnapped me and Paul, the boyfriend of the girl we had originally been tracking down, and taken us to the Institute's new hideout.

”It's critical for me to get uploaded into a new... suit... every few months. Helps keeping a low profile”, he shrugged. ”But hey, look at you! Managed to escape the Vault. I'm genuinely impressed!”

As he was talking, he also creeped closer to me. Casual, slow walking, but still reminding me of a snake who has just cornered its prey. I didn't have anywhere to go, so I just tried to keep our distance by moving along the wall until a shelf blocked my way.

”What reason do you have to hunt me down? Didn't you hear about the Railroad attacking the Vault? Everyone there were killed.”

I expected him to be surprised, or accusing me of lying, but instead he laughed.

”You thought the Vault was our only hideout? Oh, no, not at all.”

”But... Dr. Branson said that the vault was everything! Everything that was left!”

”Don't be stupid”, Dr. Penn – no, Thomas, said. ”Of course she told you that, so she wouldn't compromise the other locations. How was it you guys used to say it? About putting all eggs in one pan?”

Basket, my mind automatically corrected. The courser was already standing just three steps away.

”Then... Why now? Why not take me before? And how did you even know to find me here?” I tried to win some more time to think.

”Had to wait for the new orders to come in, and the new coordinates. Plus I had to make sure you were still as valuable to us as you were before. And just so you wouldn't think yourself too special, I was originally planted here to seek out other escaped synths and keep an eye on the detective”, Thomas replied and kept peeking at the thing he was holding.

”Should get the coordinates soon. Then I can deliver you and get back without anyone noticing. Curie will back me up on my story that you never made it to the clinic. Maybe decided to explore the outsides of the gate by yourself and got snatched by ferals.”

I was fairly certain that he wasn't going to shoot me. At least not to kill. It was my best bet, and I took it. When he took his eyes off me for the nanosecond to check the thing in his hand, I moved as fast as I could and grabbed a pair of scissors laying on the shelf.

Aiming for his head I jumped forward and thrust the scissors at him. I missed his head, but the sharp tool penetrated the skin on his throat and sank in, deep. He jerked backwards, made an unintelligible sound and hit me on my temple with the pistol. I heard a metallic clank when he dropped the mysterious device and pressed a hand on his throat where the scissors were still sticking out.

Stumbling backwards I fell down hitting my shoulder against the headboard of my bed and cried out in pain. When I looked up, I saw the courser cursing and briskly pulling the scissors out. A gush of blood followed, and some of it landed on me. He pressed the wound with his other hand, but the blood still flowed between his fingers.

Had he been a normal human, he would've probably been on his knees by now – or at least close to it. But I didn't see a single sign of that happening any time soon. I tried to think about my chances, all of them at the same time.

Running to the door? Nope. Besides, he had locked the front door and it would take me too long to get it open. Killing him? Already lost the scissors, and I couldn't see anything useful near me. But I couldn't just let him take me. Not now, when he had revealed me the truth about the Institute.

I didn't have a choice. If he had the orders not to kill me, maybe I'd have enough time to kill him. One way or the other.

I plunged at his feet and hit him in the back of his knee, and hoped that he would fall away from me so I might be able to jump on top of him. But he came straight down. I couldn't handle his weight and the back of my head hit the wooden floor.

As he fell on me, he both supported his upper body and attempted to keep me still by holding his arm on my throat and pushing down. Again, the suffocating feeling made my chest burn and I dug my nails in the flesh on his arm, trying to claw it off. When I realized he also held the gun with the same hand, I started tucking my fingers under his and grab the pistol.

This whole time the drops of blood kept spilling on me and on my face from the cut he tried to cover with his palm. He growled something at me, but I didn't have time to register what it was. My surroundings were already blurring from the lack of air.

With my waning strength I shot both of my arms up and pulled his hand off the stab wound. The warm blood guttered down his neck, making my hands streaked with dark red liquid. The courser cursed, yanked himself free from my grip and was forced to pull up. The arm disappeared from my throat and I coughed, drawing deep, wheezing breaths.

The next thing I saw was the pistol which was pointed right at my forehead.

”Fuck it”, he hissed behind his teeth. A trickle of blood glimmered on the corner of his mouth.

”I'll just make you brain-dead. We only need the rest or your body, anyway.”

The gunshot was surprisingly loud.

I shut my eyes, waiting for the darkness to swallow me, but it never came. Instead, The weight on top of me changed and I felt warm spatters on my neck and face. When the courser slumped over me my eyelids snapped open, and I was staring right into his bulging eyes. Then he was pulled off, his body making a heavy thump.

Nick was standing right above me holding a revolver, and he quickly came down on one knee and reached for me.

”Are you hurt?” His eyes trailed the blood on me.

”No”, I swallowed. I still couldn't believe I was still alive. ”It's his. The blood.”

He dropped the revolver and before I knew it, he was holding me in his arms.

”Thank god”, I heard him saying. ”I came to check on you, and when the door was locked... Got the key from Curie when she opened the clinic, in case of violent patients. Thank god I made it in time.”

The shock was still keeping me tightly wrapped. I understood what was happening, but then again I didn't. It was like I was watching myself from the outside.

”He's Thomas”, I said blankly. ”He got changed into a new body. The Institute... They're still out there.”

”What?” Nick exclaimed and loosened his arms so that he could look at me.

I told him what Thomas/Dr. Penn had told me, and Nick found the metal object the courser had dropped. It was a locator of some kind, and when I saw Nick inspecting it he actually looked disgusted.

”I'll have to send this to Dez”, he finally said and put it in his pocket.

That was when the doorway was suddenly filled with men wearing Diamond City Security's armor, and Curie was with them. She was horrified, and when she saw me covered in blood she slapped a hand over her mouth.

”It's not hers”, Nick said and helped me up.

”Ree”, Curie leaped forward and started going over my head and arms, checking for cuts and other injuries. ”I cannot believe it. Dr. Penn had the most excellent recommendations, that he would do something like this! Can you follow my finger?”

”You're okay?” I asked and she gave me a desperate look. Nick caught my eye and slightly shook his head. _Don't ask anything more_. 

”I am so sorry that I put you in such danger”, Curie said both sad and furious.

The Security talked with Nick for a while, and after Curie confirmed that I only had some bruises, Nick came to us and put his hand on my shoulder.

”I think Ree should come with me. She needs to get out from here, and I still need to ask her more questions.”

”But she is still in shock”, Curie insisted. ”Monsieur Valentine, you can do your detective work later.”

I glanced at the body on the floor and something cold slithered down my spine.

”It's okay”, I stated without any emotions. ”I just... I want to get far from him. Please.”

”Come on”, Nick gently led me to the door and said something to Curie. Then he got me my sneakers and jacket, and we stepped out.

It was raining, heavy, big drops. Nick bent down to pick up something, that cast a shadow over me but stopped the rain falling. He held the umbrella higher and pulled me closer. When we took off and swiftly walked between the houses I could see people carrying tables and chairs back inside. The rain had put a rude stop to the festival.

Nick brought me a damp towel when we got inside the detective agency, so that I could wipe the blood off me. I did so, and watched my hands starting to shake. Gods know how many times I had been close to dying in the past month, but I guess that was something you couldn't get used to.

”Ree?”

I flinched. I had been staring at the towel, unable to think straight. My knuckles were already white for squeezing the fabric so tightly. I raised my gaze and saw Nick standing next to me, waiting for me to reply.

I completely broke down. I dropped the towel, and rushed to hug him. He staggered only an inch, before bringing his arms around me. I tried to talk, to explain how scared I had been to get taken again, to die, to lose everything I loved, but only got out muffled words here and there.

Nick held me tightly, occasionally stroking my hair and nodding; I felt his chin touching my forehead as he did so.

Maybe it was the fear of losing him which gave me the courage to recognize my feelings. I grabbed his collar, rose on tiptoes and pressed my lips on his. His mouth was surprisingly warm. I couldn't see his face since I had my eyes closed, but for a short moment he hesitated – his posture was tense and the air was almost charged.

Carefully, I felt him answering my kiss. He moved his mouth slightly, even leaned in... Until his hands took my shoulders and pushed me away. Our eyes met and my heart sank with dread. I slowly let go of his collar and covered my mouth.

_What did I just do?_

His eyes were gentle, but they had a veil of resolution.

”It's all right”, he said quietly. ”You have been under a tremendous stress.”

I don't know what was it – the way he said those words or the words themselves, but they ignited something inside me.

”It's not like that”, I breathed and tried to keep my mouth trembling. ”Nick, I love you.”

The yellow eyes flashed the tiniest bit brighter, when his eyelids opened more. But all the same it could have been just an illusion, because his face was again back to normal, ”stoic detective” mode.

”Ree, you need to stay calm.”

”No! I'm done with that”, I exploded. ”I can't do this anymore. I seriously thought that I was going to die there. And not only at the clinic, but at the Institute, and in the forest. Yes, I still love John. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but I can't... I just can't ignore it anymore. I need to know.”

I sniffed and furiously wiped the gathering tears on my sleeve.

”I need to know”, I repeated, pleading and unable to look into his eyes again. ”I'm sorry, but I need to know if it's just me, or...”

The silence fell in the office, and only my frequent sniffing broke it now and then. He was still holding me by my shoulders, but I kept my eyes on the ground.

”I do, too.”

His voice sounded defeated. I snapped my head back up and our eyes met again. He was smiling wistfully and the yellow pair gazed at me with affection.

”Which is why it ain't right to do this. That, and because I'm still Nick the Synth. A machine... Just pretending to be something I'm not. This isn't real, Ree. Any of this.”

It hurt when he said that, twisted around my heart like a vine with thorns. I took a step back, but he didn't let go of me.

”It is real to me”, I insisted. ”No matter how many times you call yourself 'just a machine'. I didn't plan for this. Any of it, but it happened. And it makes me sick to pretend that it's not there.”

His smile faded, as he listened to me. When he talked again, his words were kind, but stern.

”I appreciate your feelings, I do. More than you'll ever know. I never even dreamed that someone could consider me more than just a friend. But I think it would be wise for you to get some rest for now – you can have Ellie's bed and I'll stay down here--”

”No.”

This was all too much for me. I shook his hands off me and backed down to the door. My mind was a mess, and I couldn't just let it go on anymore. I didn't even know what it was that I was asking from him, but for him to say the kind of things he had said hurt me more than I could've ever anticipated. And now it hit me, that by confessing him I most probably had made sure I would never see him again after leaving Diamond City.

”I can't stay here”, I breathed and yanked the door open.

I heard him shout something after me, but the heavy rain muffled his every word. It was cowardly from me to run off like this, but I couldn't handle hearing his reasoning. Of course I knew that he also thought of John – Gods knew I did, too – but with or without Hancock my feelings stayed the same. I loved them both. I wanted them both, but I knew it was just a selfish wish that could never be.

Where would I go? I stopped at the deserted market. The rain was so heavy, that during the short run from Valentine's detective agency I was already completely drenched. Everything farther than twenty feet away was just shapes and shadows, the amount of details depending entirely on if they were right under a neon sign or not.

I couldn't run back to Curie's, it was a crime scene and I didn't want to get in the middle of it. I had heard that Magnolia was staying at Dugout Inn, maybe she would let me stay there until Hancock's return.

Someone called my name and instinctively I turned around. The tall shadow was standing just few feet from me, and yellow eyes shone in the darkness.

_ I don't want to hear any more of it _ _. It was so stupid, stupid..._

However, he didn't give me another chance to escape. Before I could take another step, his arms locked me in my place and I stood against his chest. I wanted to push him off, but his grip was too tight.

He lowered his head so that he could talk directly to my ear. Otherwise it would've been near to impossible to hear him over the rain.

”I'm sorry”, he said. ”I'm sorry, Ree.”

As he kept apologizing, I cried and the rain made my hair stick to my face. He pushed the strands of hair on the side with his metal hand and found my eyes.

Then he did what I so much craved for. His hand moved under my chin, supporting me as he leaned forward and brought his mouth over mine. This time he didn't hesitate, either. His kiss was certain, filled with hunger for me, telling me exactly how he felt. I responded to it, matched it's tone and raised my hand on his cheek, which was only partially covered with skin. The metal jaw under it worked with his mouth, but instead of it being cold it was warm, like his hand.

Neither of us noticed the figure standing further, South-West from us. The rain had turned the crimson jacket so dark that it was almost black.

 


End file.
